I need a Revisioning Meeting

Because I am lost, son!

Note to Self

Write a very long, very detailed email letter to professors at McDaniel, letting them know how much I have grown and what I have been up to..

A Longer Update

I have to push myself to write. 1,  because I suck at writing and 2, because it is how I will be graded.

It's been a long time, so I think this post is going to just have to take the form of word vomit/free writing.

*Turns on chillout* Ahem.

Two of the biggest things I need to work on this semester is not procrastinating and pushing through when I am struggling so that I can actually achieve some real growth. It's as if I can feel the wheels slowing mentally, and I am just doing the bare minimum to get by.

But that's probably the biggest question mark for the semester too; what the hell do I need to do exactly to be doing more? This question is exactly why I've been so hesitant to reach out to people everywhere, to reach out to those folks who would help me the second I ask. I don't know what the hell I should be asking.

The only goal I have achieved so far is figuring out my schedule. This just happened last Friday. I've been working on this since the end of August.

There have been a few concrete things that have been rolling around in my head pertaining to how I could be learning more. I like lists, so I will make a random one, with no order whatsoever:
-Planning and saving to go to Europe again (currently making me super excited)
-Reading about socialism, communism, anarchy, and other radical things, because I haven't yet. Starting with Grace Lee Boggs books
-Trying to contact all the Green Food orgs that I have been meaning to, and actually getting to talk to them. I feel like this will put some pep back in my project.
-Read more!
-Save money
-Figure out textbooks for learning Japanese and Spanish

This is a working list.

I had more to write but fucking tumblr....damnit. Maybe tomorrow.

A Short Update

I am feeling slightly overwhelmed. I don't believe that this is a bad thing, it's simply a process I have to get through.

I think that my exhibition will be about my struggles to adjust to my new school and schedule, and my upcoming clarity and hopes for future focuses.

My backup plan is to continue film studies at RIC. I will be sending in my app this weekend.

My backup to my backup is to become a stripper.

Goddess help me.

Possible Itinerary for Europe?

http://travel.yahoo.com/ideas/10-surprisingly-cheap-european-cities.html?page=all

http://www.bakpakguide.com/europe/destinations/featured/cheapest-cities-to-visit-in-europe.shtml#.UHt-VG_A-N0

All listing Budapest, which will be first, for sure.

Side Project

I plan on going back to Europe. Details soon to come.

Reflections and Resources

So I did terrible at trying not to procrastinate. I will try to be better at it this week. Exhibitions are coming up real quick and I'm nervous. I'm trying not to let the idea into my head that I'm all talk. If I could actually just get these first conversations set up, I think it'll give me the boost I need to keep moving forward.

Another thing that I would like to change about myself right now is that fact that I don't read enough. I haven't read nearly enough social justice theory, or anything for that matter. I'm going to try to stay away from bell hooks for a while, because that has been on overkill, but I will hopefully be able to read Grace Lee Boggs, and other books. If folks who are reading could leave comments suggesting books, I will make that my official reading list for the school year.

I at least have a to-do list made up, and I have time tomorrow at the library to start doing at least part of it, so no excuses!

A Short Reflection

Succeeding more in college than I ever did in high school.

I just have to keep telling myself, "soon....."

My writing has gone to shit.

Not that it was ever good or anything.

I suppose I just have to practice. It's on my PLP...

How I came to be a College Unbound Student

I believe that my journey to College Unbound started in late August of 2010. Stepping onto my previous college’s campus for the first time as a college student, there was a wave of unhappiness and dread that moved through me and stayed with me throughout the day. I did not know why I had this feeling; I had visited the campus before and I generally came away with a neutral vibe. 

In retrospect, it all makes perfect sense. Each semester that passed by at that school I found myself searching for something- grasping at the words I needed to explain why I felt so empty when folks would ask, “So why do you hate McDaniel?” Each semester I could articulate more and more what dissatisfied me about the school. First semester, it was that I was devastatingly bored, second semester it was that I had no community that I felt completely comfortable belonging to (although, I did have art classes, which seemed to make that semester more bearable).   

It was only this summer that I realized that I needed a drastic change in my education. After coming back from my dream-like semester abroad, it quickly dawned on me that my old reality was approaching, and I didn’t like what I saw. I hastily came up with an escape plan. I certainly did not have my plan all worked out, but I was certain that for my own health’s sake, I could not return to my old school and just deal with the constant sadness I had previously dealt with. In reaching out to some of my mentors, they pointed me in the direction of creating a conversation that could give me some clarity around what I truly needed in an education. 

I was sure that I needed some space to rant. I am the kind of person who needs to lay everything out in the open before I could pick up the pieces that most accurately fit what I need. Any meeting or conversation that I would have about my education had to at least allow me the space to vent my frustration, and explore my desire. Second, I needed someone who could present alternative opportunities that would create the best fit for my wishes. Luckily, I was able to have a conversation that was exactly that. 

In my meeting with my college advisor, I completely laid everything out on the table. I had been constantly thinking for months about what I needed as a low-income college student of color who was interested in things other than business and pre-med. I was aware that my choosing not to pursue either of these two subjects put me at a disadvantage after graduation. I was also aware that my interest in the arts was too strong to not include in my education. 

In order to remedy this situation, I wanted to go to a school that allowed me to gain some real world work experience while learning. I was prepared to be a commuter student that went to work right after class. I knew that having a resume full of work experience would put give me some advantage when I had a degree, as most jobs that I researched required at least some work experience alongside a diploma.

    I knew that I wanted something that could capture most of my interests; I knew that it would be a fantasy to assume that I could have it all. In addition to an interest in media production, I knew that I had a love for painting and drawing, herbs and alternative medicine, non-profit work, and youth development. In order to be doing work in those fields, I would work with my home organization, Youth In Action, when I had the time. 
  After I was done ranting and venting, Simon, my College Visions advisor, who had been listening very intently, laid out some options. One option that he happened to mention, College Unbound, stuck out to me. The more that I thought about it, the more it seemed to fit my needs. It was hard to  research the school, since very little information was available online, but I decided to make the leap and transition to the school. So begins the start of a new journey.